Baltimore: Ahoy, Drunks!

My office is at Camden Yards, and whenever the weather isn't too swampy, I like to take a lap around the park to get away from my desk and get a breath of fresh air. Or coffee. Always coffee. 

Inevitably I pass some group of tourists learning about the ballpark, and while I *am* capable of seeing the charm in Charm City, I can't help but roll my eyes and wonder WTF anyone does besides see the ballpark when they come to "vacation" here for a long weekend. The National Aquarium? OK. Fort McHenry? OK. Bars? Yes. But I mean, let's just say I don't always see the quality of it as a destination (besides the fact that it is probably a very cheap one these days).

However, two weekends ago I found an activity that I think every tourist and local alike should do in Baltimore. And yes, you may have noticed it has taken me over a full week to write about it because it took me over a full week to recover from the glory that is Urban Pirates.

Docked in Fells Point is a pirate boat that I always pass on my runs or when I am out in Fells, but I've never been. A friend had part of her bachelorette party a few years ago on the pirate cruise, but I slacked on buying tickets and missed out. They have family cruises during the day, and bring-your-own-grog adult cruises at night.

I had always heard it was nothing short of a shitshow -- that you couldn't go on this pirate boat without getting schwasted, as Jen would say. But when my friend Whitney chartered a daytime BYOG boat for his 30th birthday, I figured I'd get a little buzz and hang out the rest of the afternoon since I am not a very successful day drinker.

Well. 

The pirates and Whitney (with his handle of Crown Royal) were having none of that "buzzed" shit. I went from sober to shitfaced in a manner of minutes and thoroughly enjoyed the tongue-in-cheek pirate names (Seaman Lovin' Staci), pirate dad jokes, and bar mitzvah-esque party games (limbo, anyone?) that we played while we sailed around the Inner Harbor for an hour. I was so drunk I didn't even register the potential consequences of getting sprayed with dirty harbor water from one of the ship's "cannons."

We followed it up with a (pretty gimpy) bar crawl around Fells Point and tacos at Papi's.

A solid Baltimore Saturday indeed...even if I followed it up with a two-day hangover and an out-of-the-blue case of strep throat (hmm, harbor water?).

-Staci