Best Of: Men of the U.K.

Best Of

Aug 1

I'm beyond stoked to finally FINALLY see a woman become a major party presidential nominee, and I'm not discounting the implications of that. But certain events of this weekend were a harsh reminder that we women are still regularly objectified.

So as the feminist I am, I'm taking one for the team today to singlehandedly try to even the score a bit and do some objectifying of my own. Call it, if you will, a #mancandymonday or #mancrushmonday or #mcm or whatever the fuck kids say these days.

If you were to take a look at the men I've dated, you might say I have no type, physically at least. This would be accurate. But when it comes to celebrity crushes and an accent preference, yeah, I love me some Brits and other gentlemen of neighboring Ireland and Scotland. A couple months ago when I pointed out a guy I thought was cute to my (pathetic) wingman friend Mike, he said "Oh, no wonder you like him. He looks English!"

Well.

Guilty as charged. Here's my Best of Men of the United Kingdom in no particular order:

Eddie Redmayne

I first noticed Mr. Redmayne in a Burberry ad in "Vogue" and 100 percent fell in love after seeing him as Marius Pontmercy in "Les Miserables" (which, by the way, is a movie that cheers me up when I'm feeling down despite Russell Crowe's abysmal singing, so do with that what you will). That following summer, I proceeded to name a stray alley cat Marius Pontmercy. Jen argues with me a lot about this. To quote her, she says he looks like "part foot, part lizard, part frog, part bird, and 85% Jennifer Garner," but Mike agrees with me that he is a damned good-looking guy, which is one of the many things we have in common as Jen's dual soulmates. (Meanwhile, Jen thinks the decidedly beetle-like Benedict Cumberbatch is hot, but that's neither here nor there.) Of course, Eddie didn't help my argument by going on to play Stephen Hawking and a transwoman (he was legit gorgeous), but I stand by my argument with this one. Plus! He ended up marrying a totally normal non-celeb person, which how can you not have mad respect for?

Sam Heughan

TBH, I have a sneaking suspicion I should maaaaaybe be embarrassed that I'm reading Outlander and actually can't even put it down. Is it romance? Historical fiction? I don't know, but at least it's infinitely better written than the complete cesspool "50 Shades" that I managed my way through first out of curiosity and then out of my compulsive need to finish every book and series I start no matter how maddening the garbage writing is. Anyway, I haven't watched the "Outlander" Starz series yet because I want to finish the books first, but when I Googled how to pronounce one of the Gaelic words in the book, I came across this, which makes me giggle like a teenager every. single. time. (P.S., the bald silver fox isn't so bad either.) Sam Heughan makes a MUCH better Jamie than our own Scottish Jamie of the Highlands. Further, he's into working out and wears lots of Under Armour, so obviously, we're soulmates. (Sam, call me.)

Prince Harry

When I was 12, I was allllll about Prince William. Prince Harry was kind of funny looking, and around then Prince Will peaked then lost his hair and Prince Harry kind of shed the ugly duckling thing, and now Sabrina and I refer to him respectfully as HRH Prince Hot Ginge. Plus, he's always good for a laugh with whatever dumbass thing he's up to like that naked hugging stint in Vegas.

Idris Elba

This is a great example of what a sucker I am for accents. When I first discovered Idris Elba as drug dealer Stringer Bell in "The Wire," epic story of my hometown Baltimore, I had no interest. Then when I heard him speak in his ACTUAL British accent, I did a double take. Can someone finally sign this man as James Bond please? SO goddamn suave.

Tom Hiddleston

I'd like to say Tom is dead to me now that he's (supposedly) dating the diabolical evil genius that is Taylor Swift, and the word "Hiddleswift" sounds like a medieval monster, but the truth is I love him unconditionally and would happily be there to pick up the pieces when T-Swiz moves onto her next conquest (please don't let it be any of the above). I loved him first as emo Loki, then later as F. Scott Fitzgerald in "Midnight in Paris," and Jen tells me that EVEN SHE found him attractive in "The Night Manager," so that's next up on my list of TV to binge.

Who did I miss? A lot, I know. Michael Fassbender, Tom Hardy, Andrew Lincoln, Ewan MacGregor, Jonathan Rhys Meyers, goddammit. We could be here all day.

-Drooling Staci, on her way to moving to the not-so-United Kingdom

Note from Jen: I am fully aware that Cumberbatch looks like an otter, but when he goes into "obnoxious smarter-than-everyone mode," I'm sold.

Staci Wolfson